14 Jan
How can I convince my mother that I won’t be an alcoholic?
Posted on 2010 under Teenage Alcoholism | 11 CommentsHey, I’m a teenage girl, going to be 19 in the summer. I am an honour roll academic student, I have a part-time job at an electronics store and.. go figure, I like to party !
The problem is, my mother constantly lectures me and gets herself, and me, upset everytime I head out to even just the movies. She knows that my friends and I drink almost every weekend, and of course March Break.. summer parties, etc. She keeps telling me that alcoholism runs in the family and that she will not tolerate her daughter being an alcoholic. I can’t seem to convince her that I’m a lot more responsible and mature than she thinks, and I have the willpower to prevent myself from becoming an alcoholic.
I of course respect her concern, obv. she is my mom. But what do I have to say, or what do I have to do, to help her understand where I’m coming from?
What does your mom have to say, you can’t know you will not become an alcoholic with your family history, unless you just don’t drink you can’t be sure.
I am sure you think you can handle anything but so did the alcoholics in your family when they were young.
Do you think that they woke up one day and said, "Gosh, I think I wanna be an alcoholic when I grow up."
Alcoholism is a progressive disease that you don’t know you have until you are very sick with it.
by happygirl, on January 15 2010 @ 12:07 am
What does your mom have to say, you can’t know you will not become an alcoholic with your family history, unless you just don’t drink you can’t be sure.
I am sure you think you can handle anything but so did the alcoholics in your family when they were young.
Do you think that they woke up one day and said, "Gosh, I think I wanna be an alcoholic when I grow up."
Alcoholism is a progressive disease that you don’t know you have until you are very sick with it.
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by gin813, on January 15 2010 @ 12:35 am
The only way you are going to convince her, is to stop drinking. Have you tried to understand where she is coming from? She is your mother and just wants to protect you. How does she know that you drink? Do you tell her? Do you go home drunk? Alcoholism isn’t about will power, it is a disease, and alot of people think they have it under control, but really do not. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problems having a drink, but you do have to be very careful when drinking, because things can get out of hand quickly.
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by Mrs JLo, on January 15 2010 @ 12:44 am
remember that Alcoholism is a disease. If it is in your genes, you are predestined. YOur mom has every reason to worry about you. If you have seen what it does to people, you would understand where shes coming from. As a mother, you worry every single second of every single day about your children, its never ending. But, i see your side too. Being young and carefree and independent. You seem like a smart person, be careful with your drinking and partying. But, you are also not legal yet, so she still has a point…once you turn 21 you will be able to do as you please. Just respect her and respect yourself.
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by Babe, on January 15 2010 @ 12:58 am
Most alcoholics say that they can quit anytime and that they are responsible. If it runs in the family then she has ever right to be worried. Being mature has nothing to do with be an alcoholic. Its a disease that some people destroy their lives and the people around them. Your mother is a lot more mature and knows what she is talking about. LISTEN to her. She loves you and cares.
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by jewels15, on January 15 2010 @ 1:07 am
You think it takes will power not to become an alcoholic? Its a disease and it does run in families.
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by joe_fleeman, on January 15 2010 @ 1:18 am
Here are the facts about alcoholism hon.
I have know many.
1. I never met an alcoholic who as a kid desired more than anything to grow up to become one.
2.They ALL started out with just a "few beers".
3.They didn’t realize they were REALLY an alcoholic until AFTER they lost their families, their jobs, their cars, driver’s license, and everything but the clothes on their backs.
4.When most try to quit , they sometimes go into DT’S they get sick , tremble and shake, puke etc.
5.The ones I knew, died in fires, or from alcohol poisoning, and many horrible health problems before that last drink.
Now ask yourself this,
1.Has drinking made you better looking?
2.Healthier?
3.Smarter?
4.Wealthy?
Do you know you are at risk to become ADDICTED to alcohol and will not be able to stop on your own once you have become addicted to it?
Look at ALL the partiers who are in their 40’s-60’s and look at the quality of life they have now and what they have been through and REALIZE that will be where your at when you are their age.
I have known many partiers who have died from drug overdoses, drinking and driving and although it may be fn at the party, the consequences will get you in the end, no way of escape except to stop and find something better to do than drink and party your ,health, money ,freedom, and sometimes your life away.
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by hehateme38, on January 15 2010 @ 1:37 am
Sorry but your mom’s right on this one. From experience take her advice, because becoming an alcoholic will catch up with you sooner or later if you drink almost every weekend. I started drinking at 16 and drank once or twice every week in college. That was not the bad part because i’m pretty chilled when drunk. I did gain a little weight, but all I did was exercise and was back in shape. However, AFTER graduating college, I realized my body was not the same as before. If I got drunk on any given night, I would really want to drink the next night and the night after that and after that. It got to the point where I didnt mind drinking in the morning or afternoon. Now, I am a lot better because I don’t drink nearly as much as before, but you should watch out! I got buddies who are in their mid to late 20’s who think they are still in college and probably will never change……
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by minda, on January 15 2010 @ 2:09 am
There is nothing worse than a panicked parent, unless you are the panicked parent of a teen who is lax and slack on listening. Which I don’t know how good you listen or not, but let me give you a few pointers. Your mom is functioning out of fear. No matter how unreal her fear is to you, it is oh so real to her…likely some fairly hard knocks upside the head have caused her to be afraid too. You can’t argue fear just like you can’t argue with a person who is full of alcohol. You got to use logic, gently to get the person to see it from your perspective…………..You say that you and your pals drink about every weekend. I certainly have no problem with a couple of brown ones once in a while…..but who said you have to have a couple to kick start your weekend or enjoy a party? I can always spot a drinker a mile away, cuz they are the first ones to say, I only drink….I like to party….and it turns out that careful examination of there drinking is infact in a habit pattern. It isn’t the amount of alcohol drank that matters either so much as it is that nearly every weekend, a beer is in your hands. Just like a jig saw puzzle, no one sees the picture until it is all over and done. This is likely your mom’s view of the situation, hence the repeat naggings and harping you are suffering. While YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A TRUSTABLE YOUNG PERSON, and have your ducks in a row….how do you know that you can trust alcohol? How do you know that alcoholism is about a person’s will power? How do you know that your biology is so different than the rest of your family’s? How do you know for certain that your influences won’t influence you to throw caution to the wind, and indulge in your family’s history patterned behavior? How can you gaurantee that you are stronger than a chemical that you may not fully understand (how it effects the body and brain)? Being the obvious person of strong will power that you infact are, I say, one weekend a month, dedicate that weekend to your mom, and don’t drink. Let your mom know that this is her weekend, in honor of her, for her, and that the weekends fun won’t be fueled by alcohol. People always say, "Life is a party." I say, "Life is the party." Who needs chemicals to alter the experience? Good, long heart felt talks with your mom is the next only solution. The more you get her to put her fears out on the table and discuss them, the more she will relax on her nagging…this means listening and really trying to feel for her. No brushing her off as a worry wart, no making her issue little, no making her issue seem false. Ask your mom hard core questions like…..why are you so afraid….name and describe each persons story that became an alcoholic in the family….what she personally experienced, how she feels about her experiences as well as how she feels her life is impacted. The more mom talks, the more her fears come out, the more she will feel validated and relax. Please for my sake, because Iam not mom, at least hear me what you can, alcoholism is a staggering problem in this country, and the cause of most traffic accidents. Although it may not affect you or your life presently, at some point, it will. You will cross destination with alochol, an alcoholic or problems directly related to alcohol…..likely a traffic accident. Please for my sake, don’t tune out just cuz adults seem to nag or do nag to much?
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by cloudy, on January 15 2010 @ 2:30 am
just so you know, just about everyone with a substance abuse problem started out saying,"I CAN HANDLE IT>>STOP WHENEVER I CHOOSE" take what your mom is saying into consideration. she loves you and wants the best for you.
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by Mona Lisa, on January 15 2010 @ 3:12 am
You won’t convince her, so stop trying, and take her concerns seriously. And if you don’t want to become an alcoholic, stop the heavy partying.
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Former alcoholic, who never thought it would happen to me either.
by AF, on January 15 2010 @ 3:43 am
I am sober 25yrs. I once inherited two teenage stepdaughters who told me they were terrified they would become alcoholics because both their parents were in aa and alateen had told them it was inevitable they would become alcholics. I gave them some money and sent them down the pub and told them if it were true they better get on with it because the sooner they found out the sooner they could deal with it. Many years later, after quite a wild teenage time, they are both settled down, with their own children, and neither ended up alcoholic.
So don’t listen to all the hype and crap about family diseases. And don’t waste your breath on your mom. In 5 or 10 years from see where you are. And it’s not the end of the world if you did end up with a problem, but it is not predictable or avoidable now. Have fun and enjoy yourself.
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sober 25yrs – first 10-13yrs in aa